...Just a few things...to get off my chest!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 Aimee Larsen 4 Comments

My First Born!
When I was a new mother, I would hold this little boy and cry...
I'd cry for joy, I'd cry for fear.
Every day it seemed I'd worry about something awful happening to him.
That someone would hurt him,
feed him something I didn't want him to have.
I'd worry about the future and what it held, would he be a victim of a kidnapping?  Would he leave us in a car accident?
I worried and worried...
but I did not have God next to me at that time...
     As Cooper got older, we realized we should have him in church.  It was our job as parents, so we went to church, he cried, we stopped going and then at around 2 years old after he'd been going to Creative Playtime, we started going to church service every Sunday.  We had also been trying to have another baby for awhile...since Cooper was about 10 months old.  Almost two years went by and during this time I continued to worry.  Everyday.
      Then one day the worry was overwhelming and that night I laid in bed and cried out to God (whom I now found myself closer to).  Not to take the worry away...but to take my child.  I gave my child back to him that night.  I told him that if He were in control of my child, would watch over him, would guide and protect him, then I would not longer worry.  It was a step of faith for me.  3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant with Evan.  No amount of doctors visits, medicine, or worry would give me the second baby I wanted.  God gave me Evan when I gave him my first born.
All that being said...
   I love my boys beyond life itself.  They are mine and are part of me and my husband and were made with love.  I no longer worry myself to death about things I can not help or control.  However...
   Yesterday, I was talking to Coopers teacher.  He's had a brilliant year.  Night and Day from last year.  Only I knew last year wasn't his fault.  I KNEW it!  I never understood why my baby was struggling with his teacher so much.  He was a VERY smart, bright little boy who had spunk and love in his heart.  It broke my heart but I KNOW his teacher hated him.  She just did, because he did know alot and wanted to tell her so.  He wanted to tell other children how much he knew.  You can read more here...to get into the details.
    I found out yesterday that his teacher last year attributed all of the problems she had with my baby, to Sexual Abuse.  WHAT!  Sexual Abuse!  I was astounded.  NOT my baby.  She actually thought this!  She thought that anytime a child wasn't what she considered "normal" was attributed to sexual abuse at home.  This to me explains alot about how she treated me too.  I can not tell you how furious this makes me!
on the flip side...
   Friday I got a letter from Cooper's school and reluctantly opened it, I just knew it was something about lunch money or needing a medical form...whatever.  To my surprise it was a letter from the principal and three other teachers letting me know that my child, my little Cooper, had been nominated for Horizons Gifted Program.  I was thrilled beyond belief.  I tried calling people and telling them but got so choked up that I couldn't talk at all.  FINALLY!  Someone recognized my child for what I saw, a beautiful, super smart kid!  Someone recognized that his unwillingness to finish his busy work was because it was TOO easy.  Someone recognized that his desire to express his knowledge was "simply that", he wanted to share.
    Now, I know that he has to test to get in but I was told that his creativity and ability to solve problems creatively is his strong point and that's what they look for beyond just being smart.  So, I'm not going to be disappointed he doesn't get in, I'm just estatic that he was recognized.
   That baby of mine is turning seven on the 7th!



  1. Beautiful post. I have found myself being closer to God since the birth of my baby, too.
    For many of the same reasons. I refuse to worry myself sick. Really, we are BOTH God's children!

    Thanks again for this wonderful post. And, congratulations on all of your blessings!

    Sylvia C.

  2. Beautiful post!

    That is scary what his last year teacher thought. I wonder why she did not call DHR/CPS if she really believed that. I think its awful because that could really hurt a student down the road. Is she still teaching at his school?

  3. Fortunately the teacher retired. We (the teacher and myself) both wanted Cooper to go the counselor at the school for evaluation. I wanted him to go to prove he was fine and she wanted him to go to prove her point. (which at the time, I thought was just ill behavior) The counselor called me one day and said "I just don't see any of this odd behavior that she is reporting, he's just a bright little boy. He's very nurturing and has a healthy sense of family." This comes from role playing using a doll house and figures. Anyway, if the counselor doesn't suspect the abuse as well, or feels the opposite is the case then it doesn't go farther. If he had gone in and said or done something that was a little off from normal, I'm sure they would have been called. I should have listened to my gut all along about her.

  4. I am glad to hear this news! I know exactly what you feel when you say you know your kid is doing their best or whatever and the teacher insist they arent. Zander's teacher wrote home on his progress report that "he seems to be trying now" as in, he wasnt before???? go figure??? BTW thanks so much for helping him!


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