The Good Husbands Guide 2012I was going to write a post about my magazine rack and how I think peoples magazine racks say alot of about them. I was going to say how much I love going into peoples restrooms or powder rooms and seeing what magazines they read. I took a picture and everything, but doesn't that seem like such a shallow post compared to what really matters in life? Let's just all agree that our magazine racks say alot about us and move on.
What has been pressing on my lately is the fact that I returned full force to the world of teaching in January. I was given approximately 50 students to keep up with, my own classroom and the responsibility that comes with it. This job is a blessing!
Last September my husband walked in on this SAHM of 9 years and handed me his "pink slip". I had been looking for teaching positions in our state but nothing was coming up...not even substitute positions. So, I decided it was time to cross the state line into Tennessee. I was hired within weeks as an interim teacher for an inner city school in Chattanooga. I LOVE IT! Then I was asked to become part of the permanent team.
What has happened as a result is that my husband has found a job that allows him to take the boys to school and be home when they get off the bus. I heard Whitney Houston say this was her "dream" on the Oprah interview. I know that we are very blessed and that it is really nice on occasion that they have an aftercare at the schools for just in case. Plus, the boys love going to aftercare.
This is all God's doing, His works. It just all happened so perfectly. Now, there's a problem. God's got us down in the valley at the moment.
Now, that the roles have been reversed a little, it seems like there has been tension and stress. Now, I am the one coming home at 5 or 6 instead of getting right off work at 3:15. Which would be ideal for James but isn't realistic for me. Then there is the issue of my husband being home and duties at home falling on him; only, they just seem to be sliding right off.
How does a mother/wife do this? When am I going to find a balance in our lives? I have become so completely frustrated and he doesn't see it. I feel like I can dive again back into my Bible studies and I will come out with a new knowledge but this once, I'd like him to try it too. How do I show him? Yesterday was my breaking point when he dropped our youngest son off at my work after my half-day of working at school. He told me he rearranged my living room. UGH!
Being that my fight is against 4 men in my house to maintain organization and cleanliness, the last thing I wanted to hear was that my beautiful, clean living room had been rearranged. I may be a bad wife but it's back the way I LOVE it now and his computer desk is now in the study where it belongs..."Sorry honey but you'll have to climb the steps to get to it. It'll be good for ya."
As I'm writing this, I am reminded of "The Good Wife's" guide from 1955
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From a Biblical perspective this is probably exactly what we should be doing...when our husbands are respectful of our needs as well and we ignore number 13 and 17.
However, here is my version.
The Good Husbands Guide for the Working Wife
1. If you make it home before your wife, call and ask her what she would like for you to good for dinner or cook what she has already went to the trouble to plan if plans do actually exist. Don't ask when we'll be home exactly, we'll tell you so plan accordingly.
2. Wash your stank of as soon as you come home. It makes for a much more romantic evening. A freshly cleaned husband is always preferred!
3. Remember, that your wife has had a stressful day and is tired too. A genuine hug can do a great deal to lift her up and when the wife is lifted up, you are too.
5. Take a moment to ask the kids if they have homework and go ahead and have them get started. Nothing is more embarrassing to moms than when the kids go to school and it is clear they haven't been given the attention they need even if it's homework.
6. On occasion, draw a hot bath for your wife just before she comes home. She'll return the favor for you, I promise!
7. Let the children be children. Mom wants to hear about there day and love them just as they are.
8. Be happy to see her.
9. Greet her with a sexy smile and show sincerity in your desire to please her .
10. Listen to her . You may have a dozen important things to tell her, but the moment of her arrival is not the time. Let her talk first – remember, her topics of conversation are more important than yours.
11. Expect that your wife does want to share in the responsibilities around the house. Work together equally on areas of the home that need focus.
12. Keep your nose out of the computer or TV until she is ready to sit and relax. It's just rude to watch TV in the recliner or play on the computer if she is folding your undies.
13. Don't greet her with problems, let her love on you and the kids and then later discuss problems and issues.
14. Show genuine concern for your wife's day and never say "What would you like me to do about it?" Probably, you could just keep helpful suggestions to yourself unless she asks. Be a friend to your wife and "hear" her. Hugs are nice!
15. A glass of red wine is always a nice gesture when we walk in the door. It's also good for our hearts
16. You have heard of foot rubs, right? Give them a try, become an expert.
17. Offer to do something that needs to be done, mostly likely we will accept your offer but it is nice to be able to decline them as well.
18. A good husband always knows his place. If you are lost on what a good husband is supposed to do, the Bible is your guide. Nothing thrills us more than having a husband who reads his Bible.
Now I am willing to say that this was written in a bit of haste but it is probably as true to my life as it gets. If you don't like my version, write your own. I think I'm going to print my list out and hang it up. Have a nice weekend!