Day 34: Love Has a Language

Head: Don't we all wish there were more hours in a day sometimes, that we had more time or could make more time.  I've heard of "making time for" things but we can't really, all of our time is already allotted out everyday in the same increments for everyone.  We can not "make" anymore time than we already have.

Of course what we can do is rearrange our time so that we have more time for the things that need more time.  Today, you are going to consider time for your husband.  The thing about time is that once it has passed by, like water in a river, we can't make it go the other way and we can't take back what is already gone.  The great thing about life is, we often get second chances, we often get redo's.  God is gracious and gives us chance after chance to accept his Son.  But just like everything, even time, one day the chances will be removed from time.  So, we must consider that if our time is going to run out at any moment in our lives, we should make time to tell our spouses how much they are appreciated, cherished, loved and needed.

Heart: It's time to get to know your spouse through communication.  We've all heard of the book/phrase, "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus."  It is simply an example that we communicate differently and our expectations are different.    There is a book out as well called "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman.  I haven't read it but I have read that in his book he says that people tend to show love in 5 predominate ways.  Read them and decide for yourself if you think they are correct.

Us wives would pick "quality time" most of the time I'm sure.  I can't tell you how many of my girlfriends crave, "date night" with their husbands and are like teenagers when they get it.  I love it too.  A wife that is speaking this language, may think..."My husband does not love me anymore.  All he does is work and never has time for me."  While a husband who might be speaking the "acts of service" language may think to himself..."I would much rather be home with my wife today than working this miserable, life sucking job but if I didn't work my wife would think I didn't love her enough to supply for our needs."

Now, tell me, who's at fault?  Neither!  And God help me if I ever picked sides in anyone's relationship.  What I can suggest, just like with any "foreign language" is that you must learn the language.  Such you could take a crash course but the best way to learn a foreign language is to submerge yourself in the "culture".  You have to take the time to spend with your husband and ask that he do the same.  You both do need "date night" and "alone time" and you also need to use that time wisely.  If you need to work on communication, perhaps, movie night isn't the best date to go on.  Spend time together so that you can communicate openly and free of interferences.  

Hands:  Check your calendar, check your husbands and find a regular time that you both can spend together, just the two of you. 

God is the tool that you need in order to learn each others language.  Be sure to spend time praying for your spouse and that God will help open lines of communication in your marriage.