This morning I was reading through my "Good Reads" list down below and was reading CJane's. Now this lady is known in the blogging world as the sister of NieNie but she has her own identity and spark. She has a way with words that I can appreciate and is a sister I'd love to have. Her last post "Some Body - Second Edit" was really a good one! I don't always have something to say or have feelings stirred up by her posts but this morning I almost melted. So as a new member of her "BlogFrog" community I was able to post this in response.
Well Courtney I have to say I was almost brought to tears this morning. Not feeling sorry for you, feeling sorry for me! I know we aren't the only women who struggle but I constantly let it get the better of me. Oh what it would be to have another baby and use the excuse still, "I just had a baby." Actually, post baby last time, I started running and looked great until my appendix needed to be removed so I just gave up. I'd never run before in my life and then all the sudden I'm the only person in my entire family that doesn't have an appendix...I just knew there was a connection.
So let me ask you this, "What part of your body do you love?" Reach down deep and think about it. I suppose I could have said my eyes...I do love my eyes but eyes are so expressive and can give away emotions to easy so they aren't very trustworthy sometimes.Just as devastating to me was the fact that while I was 2 weeks away from having baby number 3, we had our "family" picture made, my Grandmother, all her children, grandchild, daughter-in-laws, you get the picture; and while I was just another face in a large crowd, I think my face was the largest, my nose was swollen, my boobs hung low my belly pushed people out of the way, my feet would not fit in any shoes I owned except for flip flops that made cut marks in my feet. Oh honey! So after giving up on having more children due to pregnancy health issues that were slowly killing me (I'd love more), I started getting back the body I almost think I'm doomed to have.
And so, if I had to pick one thing I love about my body it'd probably be my Uterus. Yes, I'm the crazy one that said it, but my hips and stomach are marked like I was in a brawl with Freddy Cougar, my boobs are stretched down and out from nursing and on good days (or good bra days) might feel normal. My feet have widened, my nose didn't go back to pre-pregnancy size, my stomach never deflated to normal'; I could go on and on and on. It's humbling! It really is! But at least my Uterus gave me something I've wanted my whole life!
So, if God loves me the way I am, then that makes me smile. But I pray that if my works could be done better with a healthier body, free of diabetes and high blood pressure, then He can help me become healthy. But right now I think he wants to keep me humble so that my works and goodness are expressed from the deepest depths of me.
This wasn't my planned post but sometimes that happens. I plan on showing you what I did to my downstairs restroom door next and few other ideas I've come up with but I felt this needed to be shared.
