Day 38: Love and Money Don't Mix

Monday, November 07, 2011 Aimee Larsen 1 Comments

Head: It is NO secret that one of the most discussed issues that husbands and wives fight about is money.  Lack of money causes so much stress in a marriage when we don't know how to respect the "lack of".  Many times the issue of our finances involve secrecy.  There are only a few things in a marriage that should remain secret between a husband and wife...surprise birthday parties, embarrassing nicknames in elementary school and Christmas gifts.  The last thing that should be a secret is money.  Some couples believe it works well for them to have a "yours, mine and ours" approach to finances but what does God have to say...
"This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one."  Genesis 2:24
We can not begin to fathom where God was going when He said husband and wives become one.  You shouldn't feel like you have to protect yourself and your belongings.  You should be working to protect your spouse both physically and emotionally.  As wives we should give up ownership in our marriage and replace it with stewardship.  We can no longer be obsessed with stuff because it will be gone tomorrow.  

"The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together." Robert C. Dodds.
One of the best pieces of advice that my dad gave my husband and I was to have a joint account, to put our money together.  We've tried together and apart and ultimately, together has worked out best.  It doesn't hurt for us to have a savings account for just in case, as a matter of fact, I highly recommend it.  Several years ago I handed my husband the checkbook and bills and said, "handle it".  I did so because I wasn't being respectful with our money.  I was not using his hard earned money to pay bills or get us out of debt.  If I saw any room to fudge or wiggle, I took it.  While he was paying bills, we paid off.  I made a little money on the side that we used for extras that we needed and guess what...extra's equaled gas and groceries.  Husband paid the bills first and if there was no money for groceries, so be it.  God proved all the while. 

Heart: We made our financial mistakes early in our marriage and have been paying the consequences and continue to but we see the light.  Recently, God finally put my heart in the right place to offer to my husband to relieve him of his bill paying, checkbook balancing duties and I pray that I do right by our money.  My husband works to hard to provide for his family and I have to respect the money that he brings home.  If I were going to recommend you read any financial advice it would be that of Dave Ramsey.  I'm no expert but he has guided many marriages to making important financial decisions from a Biblical basis.  Pray for God's guidance on this issue, ask Him for his advice on the issue.

Hands:  If financial troubles plague your marriage and you have secrets or even separate accounts, I encourage you to consider the advice above.  If you do not have troubles currently, I still encourage you to consider the advice.  Ultimately, resolve to respect the money earned and prepare yourselves.

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