Head: There is a new study out called You Can’t Be Happier than Your Wife: Happiness Gaps and Divorce.
When I read this article I was surprised at many details I would have
never considered. Did you know that 2/3's of all divorces filed, are
filed by the wife? Did you know that when the wife did most of the
housework, if her income was higher than her husbands or if they were
from different social backgrounds, then the divorce rate was higher?
Fear not, desperate housewives your marriage isn't doomed, neither is
the successful business woman's or those of different backgrounds. As a
matter of fact in the marriages where the woman was a housewife or
student, chores where shared and backgrounds where similar, things were
looking pretty sunny not a cloud in the sky.
What
they are suggesting is that too large of a "happiness gap" is what
spurs on a divorce. Now, that I get. It's not about the housework, the
money or social background differences, it's about happiness. It seems
to me that because it is women that are filing for divorce at a much
higher rate than men, means only one thing...the men are happy and they
didn't think divorce was necessary. They still think they can fix
things.
What
about us women? When that happiness gap gets bigger and bigger we
don't know how to close it. We throw our hands up and say "I'm over
it!" Right? Well, the way I see it, if you are doing the challenges
with me, you haven't thrown your hands up, you aren't "over it" and you
are willing to close the gap so that you and your husband are both
equally happy.
Heart: Now,
this study only gives worldly suggestions to how to solve the problem,
like sharing responsibilities, giving equal time to responsibilities,
etc. It also tells us that we should be careful about "keeping score".
We should be careful when thinking that responsibilities should be
shared equally. Keeping score can lead to resentment. What it suggests
to me is that communication is critical because expectations can simply
go unnoticed. Asking for help in a nice way is going to always be much
better than complaining that your husband "never helps out."
What
the study doesn't tell us is that we have a manual that is written to
perfection as a guide to our happiness. You guessed it, God's Holy
Word, our divine Bibles have the answer.
Give me your heart...and let your eyes delight in my ways. Proverbs 23:26
"Delight",
I love that word. It makes my whole outlook seem brighter. In order
to be happy, we need to find delight in one another and the things we do
for each other. To find happiness in my marriage is what is at the top
of my list. I want to be happy when I am a friend to my husband, I
want to be happy when I fold his clothes, I want to be happy when have
time to spend with our children, I want to be happy!!!
My
husband is the first to say "our marriage isn't broken, what's to
fix". He's happy! However, I'm the one that finds myself crying
sometimes because he doesn't have time to talk to me during the work day
or goes to sleep as soon as he hits the pillow, instead I should be
happy he is willing to work so hard. I could rattle down a whole list
of reasons I need to be happy but instead, I need to apply what I
already know and start being happy with my marriage and where it is
headed. I am delighted that God has a plan for us!
Hands:
Drop something you normally feel you need to do and spend time with
your husband. Take in a movie, give each other a foot rub, go out for
coffee and a chat, spend some time in the tub (just throwing that one
out there). Take a moment to find delight in your husband for the sake
of your happiness.
The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. – Isaiah 58:11
No comments:
Post a Comment
Show the love. Major love!